Ups and downs

Dug this out of my drafts box and decided to finish the idea:

"It seems that life continues to change, day to day. Josiah gets bigger, different jobs at work, Jessie has different jobs going on, we have money, then we don't. It is nice that there its a progression and not just stagnant, though it can be tiring.
Most of the time I am thankful but I find myself wondering: what more could I be doing? Not anything different but doing things better, getting more out of what I have going on."

In a sense I have a lot going for me.  I am not of this world, I have traveled off the beaten path.  I am not your average 26 year old man/kid.  My dad was informing Jessie and I of this just the other day, in comparison to some of the others in circles near us who are around the same age.

I don't feel special, or like I stand out among the crowd, though I am sure I do.  I decided to get married, decided college wasn't my thing and to get a job and work for a living.  I could still be in school with a burden of debt and a little knowledge to show for it.  I have thought about what it would be like if I had gone into culinary arts or computers, two of my interests from high school.  As a chef, I may have ended up as an obese alcoholic....  A computer tech, bored obese alcoholic.... no offense or correlation to anyone I know, i just know how I would respond to those things in my life.

Yet, I choose to work with my hands and sweat.  On an up note I am doing more technical work in fire alarms, though it is a variety of tasks.  I know God is in this showing me to be diligent and teaching me to love rest and time with my family.

I know God desires glory and to have that come from my life and my day to day actions.  In acknowledging him I understand that I am incapable and need His strength.  Does that bother me?  I am I concerned that I am "incapable?" No way! I know that first hand, more than anyone.  On the outside though I would like to maintain that I am able and strong, though it is not very hard for me to break,.

Time to blog!

  Ok, again, too long in between blogs.  I need to keep up so I can maybe do some more concise and not so off the wall posts.  Though, my brain seems to function like that normally...

  I've been up and down, tired, excited nerdy and boring.  Some of my latest endeavors have me in multiple emotional stats daily.  Biggest being, my wife is pregnant! Another kid sounds like a good time.  Also, new job for a small company owned by a family friend.  Same work, better conditions, more opportunity.  Good/bad idea, I got smart phones for my wife and I.  I am a bit obsessive about it.

  I never thought family would be so good.  I knew I wanted it, but it was such a far off notion, almost un-attainable.  I am proud to be a dad, and more so to be more than once.  I am not sure what it is going to be like, seeing as I never had siblings that close growing up.  I am excited to see how this plays out and what a blessing it will be on all of us.

  Work is not a fun task, it is a must do type of thing.  If you can have a little fun while you do it, all the better.  I had fun with electrical and fire alarm all along, though environment is key to staying positive.  I wont say it was any one fault or issue that made it that way, but it sure wasn't solvable.  Now I am in a situation where I know everything is honest, even if it is always cheery and fun.  I have a lot of improving to do, and skills that I need to gain.  Some bad habits came about, brought on by teaching myself i guess.  This also requires me to actually train my brain to retain more information and be able to process it efficiently.

  Now the sad part of the story: I am a total nerd!  I get a smart phone and I love it, get apps and connect all my social accounts.  As if there wasn't enough to do in the normal realm of smart phones, I decide to go and hack it...  It's called root, which gives you access to secured files in the phone, allowing you to change what ever you want.  Obviously, I get way to in to it and try everything possible.  It's not like that is all I do, especially not now, I've tried just about everything and have settled on a few options.

  All in all I am pleased, not content though to stay where I am at the moment.  I had a moment the other day, that was a humbling experience.  I flat out told God I don't deserve stuff, and He blessed me with the assurance that He cares even about my worthless stuff.  I realized that I need more passion in my relationship with God, and now need to implement it.

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